Saturday, August 8, 2009

Making My Way

Everyone has their own coming of age experiences. Around the time in life where adolescence comes to a close and adulthood takes off from the starting line. That ever challenging time where you're out on your own for the first time to make something of yourself, of your life, and of your future. It's where we find out who can meet their full potential. I feel as if I'm being thrown into this part right now but at an accelerated pace.

I feel like if I don't rise to the challenge of life on my own I have way too much to lose. Aside from feeling a lack of support from some of the most important place and an absent finance there is much more at stake here. It's almost like if things don't work out the way I plan or better I can easily be written off as a has-been [before I started], wonna-be, failed etc.

I'm sure a lot of this is an echo of someone else's experience somewhere & that's part of what lets me know it can be done. I have recently come to the conclusion that my circumstances are not as one of a kind as they may feel. There are other people who have been in worse [positions that myself and still archived great success beyond measure.

So here I am at 17 years old giving my all to upgrade myself. I need to get myself in the position of a grown ass man as fast as I can to eliminate that dependency on those who aren't worth my energy. Because I refuse to let go of my dreams, to conform to their comfort level, to live within their view of success I must take steps towards my own path of self-completion...

Using their negativity or disapproval as motivation for me to get that job, drive that car, perfect that technique, pass those classes, and above all just be my best so I can get where I need to. Never will I decide to do things your way or they way or her way so I have to work to make things I want in my life manifest themselves my way. I currently find myself racing from maturity to pure independence. Living for the day I can tell that fuck that I don't need them anymore and go in with my life.

Sometimes, I get really tired of trying to force people to accept me and I just want to delete them. My own success is the best way for that to happen as of now.

“He who defines duty for himself is his own master.” -- Dick Cheatam"

Wish me luck! <3
Ronnell ;~]

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