Sunday, August 2, 2009

Pretty Boy

A term which has always taken on many meanings. In my earlier years of adolescence, around the time when I first heard of it, it seemed to be the only alternative to a lief as a thug/criminal or an athlete. The way I saw it I could either get really good at a sport (like my older brother) or get really tough like most of me older male relatives and lead a similar life to theirs. But then there was the slightly less though, typically better dressed and more appealing "pretty boys".

Shortly after a few years of experiencing the seriousness, the roughness, and the dedication involved in sports team or individual I realized the sports guy thing was not for me. So I took all that energy and put it towards my look. By the end of the eighth grade I was a full blown "pretty boy". The style always came first. That was around the time I came up the the idea that "It shouldn't mater if you're late as long as you look good when you get there."

Upon entering high school fashion trends and the importance of image and the seriousness, the dedication focused around looking good consistently helped me to realize how much I loved it. Getting dressed, piecing together outfits, hygiene, and shopping were among my favorite things to do. This was also around the time that I discovered my Love for dance. At this point for me being the pretty boy meant being able to indulge in my own character through the art of style/fashion, without having to undergo the repercussions of being a homosexual (although there should be none).

Luckily by my junior year with a great support system and liberal education I grew into self acceptance and grew out of that damn closet. I am now open about who I am & still probably one of the prettiest boys you'll meet ;~] But now that energy around how "pretty" of a boy I am has transferred over directly into how feminine or how masculine of a gay I am. & I see the cycle starting itself all over again but this time I don't really like it.

There is a stigma attached to being an overtly flamboyant gay. It's assumed that if you're that way then you want to be a woman, etc. I understand that there are individuals who are transsexual and other things of that nature and that's great but the dichotomy of the butch/fem standard that many homosexuals are held to is very restricting.

The way I see it with regards to myself is that it's important to be a balanced person meaning the best of both worlds.I work obtaining only the smooth charming elements of masculinity and only the elegant glamorous elements of femininity. So for me now the term "pretty boy" has taken on yet another new meaning. The pretty representing the aesthetic value of me look beyond gender roles. The boy stands for the pride and full ownership I hold towards for my gender.

Be yourself, if that means being a pretty boy ugly girl or something in between, then so be it if that's what floats your boat just be prepared to deal with what will come your way as a result.

Bunches of Love <3

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