Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Swagger Meets the Standard

The Swag/Glamor [below]

Here's something that I'm currently struggling with. It's an age old problem that everyone experiences to varying degrees. For me the conflict between the beauty the glamor the way I carry myself and my goals my greater purpose and my inspiration is ongoing. Often times I can get so caught up in the way I present myself, and the luxuries I enjoy that I forget about or lose site of what I want for myself outside of superficiality.

Whether it be the choices I make with my financials, the partners I pursue,or the priorities I lay out in general I keep getting lost in my image and forgetting about my purpose. As an artist and a visual person I greatly appreciate all thing beautiful. Just by going through my other blog entries thats evident. I take the inspiration from what's around me and put it directly into my world. That amazes me almost enough to live off of. Too much of my energy my fuel is based solely on these outer imagery things and not enough on the more substantial things.

Don't get me wrong, I am always driven by a greater purpose like on the whole. However, in my everyday decision making I tend to let the swagger of Ronnie [the artist, the diva, the dancer, designer etc..] have too much power over the standards of Ronnell [the humanitirian, the activist, the role model]. Ususally these two sides can come across very fluid especially in my thinking. Like as long as it's coming from me I have a habbit to assume that it's coming from the right place. But in those instances where I've made the wrong choice or I'm stuck in an unmade decision I'm reminded of the necissity to priorities my thinking.

My swagger is an essential part of my existence as is everyone else's. But it is only one sector of the standard I hold myself to. I can lay out a countless number of situations where I've done things through my swagger and realized that strayed my life from my standard. So,take it from me, next time you make a choice think if it's coming from a place invested in how it'll make you look or a much deeper place of how it will impact your life's course.

The Standard/Purpose[below]

“The most important human endeavor is the striving for morality in our actions. Our inner balance and even our very existence depend on it. Only morality in our actions can give beauty and dignity to life.” -- Albert Einstein

Bunches of Love<3
Ronnell ;~]

Sexuality vs. Personality

I like dancing. I like fashion. I don't like sports. I don't like every guy I see. I don't wear pink or purple. I love shopping. I don't do violence. I don't love musicals. I like layers. I like britney spears. I like paris hilton. I've never listened to cher. I like eating. I like cooking. I am not a slut. I'm not a cat person. I'm a social activist. I like super deep v-necks. I don't smoke or drink. I don't like playing foot ball. I like cheerleaders.

But this isn't because I'm gay, it's because I'm Ronnell. Homosexuals are people just like everyone else who have character traits unique to their own being.

Bunches of Love
Ronnie ;~]

Saturday, July 25, 2009


Take that burning inspiration to move and put it into the rhythm of the music. To me dancing is like a breath of fresh air. In the moment of the movement I have so much clarity. It feels, so good to me. The endless artistic elements of it all are enough to keep me going. &
I mean everything about it.

The authenticity of honest movement of a dancer, the musicality of choreography the flexibility of a beat in a song, the possibilities that arise when a dancer hears the music. I love every bit of it. From the fun and creativity in the self-expression of freestyle to the talent and technique in the execution of trained dance styles.

It's all so truly beautiful to see. The best part about it , to me as a dancer, is what lies beneath the surface. Behind all the impressive gestures and moves; the ever inspiring motivation and the drive in a dancer. The energy from within is what shines so brightly.

It's a passion.In my dancing, regardless if it's at a party or on a stage, I pull that energy from the passion at the core of my being. It's the combination of the beauty I've come across in my life, the way the music makes me feel, and the seriousness/respect I hold for the art that translate to a style of dance unique to my experience.

When I dance I am alive. There is no second guessing for me just going. Whenever I see a well trained dancer I jump inside. Intricate choreography blows my mind. Any time im performing on stage or rehearsing I feel like my life is going in the right direction. It all just takes me away.

What I feel for dance is beyond mt ability to articulate.

Bunches of Love <3
Ronnell ;~]

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The Gaga

This lady is a true artist. I like her much more now than I did when I was initially introduced to her via radio air waves. It wasn't long after I was exposed to her personality and her musical abilities that I fell head over heals in love with her.

Her singing and speaking voices are to die for! Plus she serves as a great example of how you can use your style in fashion to create your own image. [see "dress" below] I think it's safe to say that she isn't to heavily influenced by others around her in her day-to-day.

She is absolutely adorable! & she inspires me.

Bunches of Love<3

Monday, July 20, 2009


Put together an outfit that makes a statement about who you are, what you have to "offer", and what you're looking for. Gather an image that embodies your lifestyle (or the one you want for yourself) and execute it. Take advantage of the financial and fashionable resources available to you and use them to gather your pieces. The pieces of this collection should be modified to match your physical stature. Remember, not all clothes were made to be worn by just anyone. So, if you find something that fits just right by right I mean flattering to your figure) hold to it. The flexibility of fashion is a beautiful thing that if used most effectively can shine light on your life, your look, and your self-esteem.

Establishing a style is one of my favorite parts of fashion. Styles come from visual inspirations such as favorite colors/textures, well dressed role models, the trends of a particular genre or way of life etc. Take that style and find create you place in it. Develop a vision for the look you'd like to achieve. When you shop purchase items according to how close they fall into your ideal. Give it you all. Stick with your style and don't be afraid to take risks as long as it's in line with what you're going for.

The style you choose will come at a different prices depending on what style you want and where as well as how you shop. Finances can be manipulated, however, so that the look (regardless how costly it is it can still be achieved). Shopping by the style and the quality as opposed to strictly the brand or the store can help in this among other things. But if you can afford to just go for it with out thinking about saving then go right ahead.

Once you have a couple weeks worth of outfits in your collection you will have a wardrobe. Make the most of this. Mix and match or mix and don't match (if that's your thing). Everyday dress yourself according to the ideal you hold yourself to. As long as you like it, you're consistent, and you feel good about it you'll probably carry it all confidently and look fabulous.

Remember confidence is key and it's essential to hold integrity in your fashion. If your style is too heavily influenced by by outsiders it's probably not true to you and it won't come across authentically. Fashion/style/dressing is an art, a process and yet another avenue of self-creation. Explore it and have fun in your image.

Here's a taste of my ideal.

Ugh... it amazes me & I can spot it in an instant. Geez, I aodre fashion!

Bunches of Love<3
Ronnell ;~]

Thursday, July 16, 2009


"a divine influence directly and immediately exerted upon the mind or soul" -- dictionary dot com

Being the backbone to my function, the fuel my life runs on, the something that keeps me going; I am inspired to live. To go beyond the day to day activity. To fulfill my daily duties with a bigger purpose. Living, working, learning, with the ultimate goal to be happy to be one with my self, to be stable, to BE me about all. The influences that cross my path drive me to give my life meaning to use my experiences to their maximum capacity for my own growth. Inspiration leads me to capitalize on life past the currency.

Seeing that it is a reason to look for the undiscovered possibilities, I am inspired to love. To love deeper than the romanticized version of the definition. I am motivated to plant the seeds in all people things and situation that I hold close to my heart. I strive to share a love that does not end in the bedroom or with a wedding ring. A love rooted in the depths of progress. Getting from point A to point B and then after C looking back from point D realizing how far we've come.

In my life with this love I take this inspiration & make art. I am inspired to create. I take the passion I use in my heart and my mind through my body in the movement of my dance. I use the intensity of my journey towards greater progress to navigate my way through academia and the world around me to further my education. My everlasting need to know impulse causes me to question and seek answers. I channel this drive this motivation the inspiration into creativity through my fashion through style. My favorite art forms are my outlets for this beautiful thing that drives my function; that runs my life; that keeps me going.

I am inspired by the capacity of the human mind. I am inspired by accomplished individuals. I am inspired by people like me in and way that are at peace with themselves and live a life based on progress beyond and corruption or their pocket book. To me it's always important to live with purpose, to learn from our experiences as well as those who have valuable lessons to share, and to love in such a way that helps to move forward.

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” -- John Adams

Take that you felt initially in that moment of inspiration, use it in a way that is purposeful & who knows you may just be the next greatest influence on a life of excellence. It's an ongoing cycle that colors our world.

Bunches of Love <3
Ronnell ;~]

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Honestly, Idgaf anymore...

Your approval is not needed here. My self worth is more valuable. How you feel about who I am at this point is a waste of my thoughts and feelings. I could care less how I make you feel because obviously the last thing on your mind right now is what I'm feeling. So I'm done, so over it, so over you & ready to move on with my life. & yes accepting me for Ronnell Evans in all my beauty my flaws my homosexuality my femininity my confidence and everything that makes me the strong as person I live in front of you as today is an upgrade. I refuse to adjust myself back to your standard of living. That's not cute that not cool that's not me so, fuck that! Mother or not.

Bunches of Love<3
Ronnell ;~]

Monday, July 13, 2009

Meet Jonte'

I always say.. gay guys do it better. I think here we have a prime example. He is the magic behind Beyonce's latest (dance) work. No way does he get half the credit he deserves. He's responsible for the single ladies routine that everyone drooled over.

He is beyond fierce. It's on a whole other level.

"If I was a boy I would probably still like boys." -- Ms Sasha herself

I love that. Who else do you know that can dance like he does in stilettos? Let them have it!

Bunches of Love<3
Ronnell ;~]

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Muffled Music

With the current rate of rapid music production and the constant evolution of the music industry itself the idea of a song getting old is all too familiar. But today as a song that is totally "played out" to me came on my iPod I stopped to think about it. I just had to ask myself. Why don't I like this song anymore? I used to love it. How come it sounds so much different from before? I used to know every beat every note by heart. Why am I so like annoyed that it's even playing right now? It used to get me so pumped. Why do I have to force myself to listen to it right now? I used to break my neck just to hear it or turn it up when ever it was on. It's almost as if once I learn a song and hear it so man times it looses its sound and I no longer hear it so I have to fill the silence with something new.

I love music, it's a major part of my life (like many people), and it's something I'm passionate about. However, There are a number of circumstances where I can't even hear it let alone appreciate it. & trust my hearing is fine. For instance, there are times where I listen to the same song repeatedly to prepare for a performance. Usually I like the song at least a little if I've agreed to dance to it in front of people. But by the time I actually hit the stage as I get down into the choreography the music goes mute. All I actually hear is the first two counts of the beat.. & from that point on I'm going 100% off my rehearsal and my memorization of the rhythm and I'm just adding performance to it. I can feel my self moving and see the crowd reacting but I can't hear the music.

At one point I was very specific about the type of music I was willing to listen to. Thus every genre outside my chosen few were beyond my comprehension of sound. It was almost as if I couldn't hear them either. It wasn't until I made an active decision to venture outside my musical comfort zone that I could actually "hear" different genres of music. Even now that I have expanded my range of what I like in regard to what I listen to I still work on a limited amount of sound waves. If there's some music I don't really know of it's hard for me to hear it. If there's an artist I don't particularly like they too are like automatically muted.

It's strange to me really how my mind and my ears collaborate in my experience with music. With my personal collection of songs even the way I discriminate against the songs that have been on my iPod longer is insane. The tracks that are the newest are the ones I will play the most and by the time there's new music those have become old to me & no longer as interesting. It's as if I'm killing music for myself. I guess I need to go back to the days where a new song wasn't at the tip of my fingers.

I don't want to live the rest of my existence limiting myself to the most recent sound to catch my ear. I think it's take practice but need to put forth more effort into appreciating all music because it's going to be a very important part of my life and truely one fo the most beautiful art forms.

"Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons. You will find it is to the soul what a water bath is to the body." -- Oliver Wendell Holmes

Bunches of Love <3
Ronnell ;~]

Monday, July 6, 2009

Lost In The Life

Forgetting who we are in remembering where we want to be.. The constant adjustment of character made in order to adapt to various surroundings can hinder our integrity while keeping us a live. My life or my liberty? I work so hard towards maintaining both in their purest form that I become ever so conscious of whenever they're being challenged.

Perhaps most importantly is the balance between the two. I cannot allow myself to get so caught up in my own world that I'm oblivious to the reality that surrounds me nor can I let the life that I lead get in the way of what I stand for. Even know this I still catch myself falling short of the goal; to go through my day to day as my ideal self taking a stand for every issue that resides close to me heart.

It's easy to be pressured into letting go of what I hold to be true when I don't have numbers to back me up come time for conflict. It's so much easier just forget it all and mold yourself to fit the role set out for you. I have to "live in love". The love that is promoting my growth. The love that only happens when stay true to me. I cannot lose myself in this life of mine or else I may as well die.

"Character is easier kept than recovered." -- Thomar Paine

Bunches of Love<3
Ronnell ;~]

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Reason to My Being

I remember growing up as a little boy in elementary school. The school, the teachers, the students, the lessons, the field trips..everything seemed to serve as a sort of escape from my reality. I had certain friends who would help me to get away to this sort of other realm as well & it was something I enjoyed although not many understood what it was for me. It gave me a high that I crave endlessly til this day. The "world" was like a mix of my imagination, my dreams, my passions, my support system, and the ever lingering idea that the world was my oyster.

Many people tell children that they can be what ever they want when they grow up. But for me this took on a whole new meaning and opened up a whole new spectrum of possibility. The was I see it if I can be what ever I want when I grow up then I can be what ever I want now. Although at a younger age my goals we a lot less concrete I at least knew that I where I wanted to be was in that world. I wanted to stay in the place where I could do anything; the place where my dreams are attainable; the place where I created my own being; the place where there was always something new to be learned; the place where I could better myself. Once I understood that I wanted to stay in that place I began making efforts towards establishing that setting for the rest of my life.

It can be traced to damn near everything I do. From the people who I am closest with to the schools I go to, to the hobbies I take part in & even the way I dress. I dance from a strong feeling inside that I can let out in big bursts of energy and performance. I choose clothing that fit the person I see myself as in my future. I carry myself in such a way that reflects the persona I wish to put out. I'm sure many of people do the same thing but I know for a fact that my inspiration to do these things comes directly out of that magical feeling I would get as a child.

It was the butterflies that ran through me when ever I could imagine myself as a cop, or an actor or a teacher even. That excitement that I felt as a child not yet feeling bound by my race, by my sexual orientation, my class, my family's educational background etc. In younger years I lived in a blissful world of honest happiness. Before the pollution of the social reality fell in my lap I really felt like I could do what ever I wanted to do.

Through learning, research, school, interacting with special people I have been able to get myself back to that place. But the difference now is that the magic isn't in the ignorance but rather in the awareness and the push past adversity to my goals. I moved from blindly seeking the high, to feeling like it was out of my reach, to actively making my way towards satisfying my cravings. I'm happy to have had the oppritinities to do so.

I feel as though I was privileged enough in various aspects of my life to help me reach this point. The schools I went to, the people I came across,the friends I made, the things I've seen/learned were all there & are all still here but not everyone gets to experience them the same way that I did to get me where I am now.

“All inherited possibilities and all influences of the body, all environmental influences, including educational application, are perceived, assimilated, digested, and answered by a living and striving being, striving for a successful achievement..." -- Alfred Adler

Bunches of Love <3
Ronnell ;~]