Monday, June 22, 2009

Say What You Need to Say

“The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives” -- Anthony Robbins

In order for there to be successful dialogue there must first be the common goal of communication. Dictionary dot com says that to communicate means to make known. So, when two or more individuals get together and start a conversation the idea is to deliver messages to one another usually through verbal communication. As simple as this whole idea may seem it can actually be quite the challenge in times where communication is of the essence.

Think about it. Where do these messages we try to share in dialogue come from? They come from are thoughts. And our thoughts don't come alone, then come with an entourage of feelings. Many times a thought and emotion are closely related. Because there is no one without the other it is important to include both in the process of communicating. However, it's is crucial that the distinction between the two is made. In other words it's important to express how we feel and what we're thinking when we're talking to another person but they need their own separate arenas.

Even if all the distinction amounts to is a label that works. It can be as plain as "I'm feeling like this because..." but/because/and/[what ever relationship the idea and the emotion have] "I think ..." or vice versa. Following that model or one similar to it makes it much easier to communicate whatever messages one may be holding and waiting to pass on to the next person. Be sure not to make these statements too overloaded because that can stray away from your main point.

When in doubt water it down. Simplicity is very powerful in times. Speaking directly from what you feel and directly from what you think will always get your message across successfully and clearly as long as the two are separate. If your feelings get too mixed into your thoughts then you will speak irrationally. If your thoughts get too caught up in your feelings then it will taint the authenticity of what you're feeling. So just go, but remember to star conscious of whether you're talking about how you feel or what you think.

Of course, the relationship on which the communication is taking place will alter the priority. For instance, in a friendship or an intimate relationship the emotion awarded much more importance than the thoughts. In less personal situations thoughts tend to be more exploited while feelings take a back seat. All in all the whole situation is a process that takes working at. IT takes internal work with self and external work with other people.

The most self work lies in distinguishing the thoughts and feeling while analyzing the relationship between the two according to your inner being. The work with others comes in the from of expressing those thoughts and feelings in such a way that is clear, sincere and progressive. Giving pure emotion can shut down all communication. Dishing out pure thought neglects the feelings of both parties. So share both but share them in a way that is most affective. Because if we don't then why even try. What talk to one another if it's not going to go anywhere.

Allow yourself to think and to feel before you speak. Then, let it all out. Remember you can't have one without the other. Hey, look at my blog. It is the quintessential extracts of my thoughts and my feelings. Think about it Lovelies! Good communication can make the world a better place.

Bunches of Love<3
Ronnell ;~]

No comments:

Post a Comment